I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
