First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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