My sheets look like a crime scene.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
