Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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