This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Where is the hickey?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
