I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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