While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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