I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
