his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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