So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
