I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
