Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
