So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
