I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
