Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
