haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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