Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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