Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
