You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
