GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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