we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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