I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
