can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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