plz talk dirty to me
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think your dad took our porno
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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