Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
