Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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