We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
