maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
