The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
