Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
