I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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