I'm going to jail i love you
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
