Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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