can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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