I cockslap morals
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
