Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
