you traded sex for a burrito?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
