did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
