I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
