Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
