I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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