Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
