last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
