Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
