Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
