the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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