We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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