Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
