if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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