He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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